Friday, February 21, 2014

Pushback Time

Several years ago, as a young twenty-something, I was doing youth ministry out in California.

I remember a period in time when it seemed all the young people in our church were struggling. Like really struggling. And I knew I needed to call on people to pray.

So, first things first, I met with my buddy, Rosalie, a favorite prayer warrior and friend and we prayed. And then I send out a publication (I called it Saturate) and sent it out, far and wide. It didn't ask for specific prayers about our student's personal business. The goal was simply to awaken the church to pray for her young people.

People prayed. Or I assume they did, because I could feel the pushback. The oppression. It hit in ways that were personal to me at the time, and it hurt. I became depressed. I knew right away that there was a connection between the prayers going up and my discomfort, so do you know what I did then?

I stopped asking people to pray.

True story.

I didn't have the maturity or strength of faith at the time to press in and push back. So I called it quits.

It's funny that I remember that time in my life in such detail because I have a pretty terrible memory. Friends and family will often recall things we've done together, things I've said, even gifts I've given them…and I won't remember.

But I remember this. And I'm certain there's a reason God brought it to mind this morning.

As I type this, I can still feel a stiffness beneath my eyes, where tears were welling only minutes ago.

The devil is putting up a big fuss about this boy I'm on my way to meet, and he's not shy about letting me know how he feels. Now, I know we may not all be on the same page about how this whole spiritual warfare thing works…and that's ok. But let me tell you, I've experienced it firsthand many times, and I'm experiencing it now.

I'm not a rookie anymore, so as much as his fighting gets under my skin, hurts my feelings, hurts my flesh, hurts the people I love the most, threatens my confidence and wastes my time…

he will not win!!!!!!!!!

It is NOT time to shrivel up, back down, throw in the towel.

It IS time to press in.

To push back.

Stand up straighter.

Narrow my focus.

Capture my thoughts.

Trust God for safety for my family, Anna's family (who's traveling with me) and everyone we come in contact with.

Recall a lifetime filled with kept promises. My God is faithful. Always.

Will you all pray with me? And call on others to pray?

God is greater. GOD IS GREATER!!

And it's go time.

T-minus 26 hours to takeoff.

This boy has a mama. And she's on her way.



8 comments:

  1. My dearest Grace, I bring you back to my prayer life in joy and perpetuance! May the awesome shield of God and His army of angels clear a path of through satans road blocks! May our Father in His great and infinite wisdom empower you, give you strength physically, spiritually, and may He place His coat of armor to protect you and Anna as you travel to have your "Gotcha Day" with that sweet little lamb of God, may He also wrap His loving arms around you and Sam blessing you with the understanding, peace, energy, and grace you will need once you begin your new journey as a Momma to two very special Jesus little lambs. In His Holy Name we ask His will be done! Amen Your Sister in Christ,
    Ronda in Bend, Or

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ronda, thank you SO much for your prayers!

      Delete
  2. Oh! Grace I have never meet you or read your blog until last night. i have ben praying/planing a project for our non-profit: i find people often say to me "We are not called to adopt" i think they say this because i have adopted 4 of my kids and i want to say to them "i am not called to adopt right now either but, SOMEONE island I am helping fundraise for them. Want to help?" two things keep coming to mind as I prayed about this, the name Tommy and the word ransomed. I have not been on RR in 6+ months so i have not looked at any kids. Last night at our board meeting we were picking the family/kid we wanted to fundraise for and we found Tommy and you with you blog lovesRANSOM. We want to fundraise for you. We have 1 garage sale planed so far and are hoping to have 9 other by summer to benefit your adoption. we have some other ideas in the works for raising money also. We are all so excited for you. I would love to email you more, you can contact me through thirtyonetwenty.org

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. L.L, I just emailed you through your organization's website. Thank you so much for your desire to help. We are blessed! I look forward to connecting with you soon.

      Delete
  3. You, Tony, and Sam are in my prayers; I am blessed by your story and your words of insight. *Romans 15:13*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Grace, I will certainly be praying! I've quietly and prayerfully followed your journey to adopt Sam ever since I found your blog (through Susanna M. or RR, can't remember which). My daughter's name is Samantha Grace, so her name brings you and your Sam to mind often. My Sam is in kindergarten too this year! I loved your last post with the pictures and updates about Sam. When I watched the video of her walking, I just lost it. Our God is so amazing! I'm looking forward to seeing Him bring healing to Tony through the love of your family. By the way, I've been meaning to write and run a fundraising idea by you....recently I became a consultant with Thirty-One Gifts with the goal of giving my earnings to help adoptive families, particularly those bringing home special needs children from Sam and Tony's country. I'd love to do an online party to benefit Tony's adoption when you return from trip #1, if you're interested. I think you can get my e-mail from this blog comment. I'll be praying for safety for you, Anna, and your families in the coming week! (Oh, and tell Anna that those of us out here who adore Simon need a blog update on him!) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm going through the same thing, seeing when I pray, just horrible things happen even though I see the spiritual good at the same time.
    Remember to keep singing praise to God, that's some good warfare right there. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Praying for you right now. Praying for strength and courage, peace and a quiet heart. Praying for wisdom and determination. Praying that you will continue to be a light in a dark world.

    ReplyDelete